- Life is half spent before we know what it is.~ George Herbert
It is common knowledge that most things in life are learned through personal experiences. As a friend of mine loves to repeat, “Life will learn ya.” He believes that the things we do not make an attempt to understand and also to learn from others we will then have to learn them through our own personal experiences. Although I believe that each living being has a right and a great purpose to learn things as they come, I also believe that learning through proper sharing of knowledge through proper education is as equally great and necessary in our development. I believe that each adult individual who has great insights about life and the continuous issues of living that we all face as a member of the “human race” throughout our stages of developments would do humanity a great favor by effectively passing on these insights for understanding, for change, and for human advancement.
The Real World reveals the notion of their being a “real world” and the affect of this belief of presenting education through imagination for the youths. Plus, how we continue the momentum of keeping “imagination” alive through storytelling, movies and games, which occupies a great deal of youths' independent time activities, and concludes in showing that we emphasize more of “imagination” and not “reality” for them. By adapting to a factual culture of living and learning, we can easily come to conclude that a greater and earlier attainment of intellect and maturity for children and young adults is possible as being a method toward human advancement, “it is not length, but depth of life." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
- "I think a painting is more like the real world, if it's made out the real world."~ Robert Rauschenberg
Infancy through Early Adolescent years
Learning is one of the most vital things that every living being must continuously strive for. Learning is most apparent during childhood as children demonstrate its importance best through their periods of great exploration for discovery to grasp knowledge and understanding of the basic things that we adults know. They are constantly looking around, asking questions and processing information about life to move away from the darkness of living in the unknown. Children have to learn to adjust within a society where everything has been assigned names, placements, rules and regulations that are human categorized creation, and also other natural systems and managements that naturally existed as the “way of the world” by nature, or our planet. I would assume learning and adapting to be such an extreme frightening, an enormous challenge, and also an adventurous existence.
We watch as these babies and children become naturally more developed mentally, socially, spiritually/emotionally and physically active in our homes and communities. At that age, they can: walk, talk, and are ready and able to explore and grasp knowledge of their world, their surroundings, deeply and exhaustively to move past the unknown and to understand their environments as much as we do.
The Inventions of “the real world”
It is during these fragile early stages of development that children are introduced to the creative world of imagination. I believe that children are extremely curious beings and are great thinkers. They possess an imaginative mind because they do not know about the factual life itself, therefore their imaginations are a way or method that they use to try to grasp images and understandings of life and its operations.
Fiction is a form of reality and not reality as it realistically stands, I believe that adults are the ones who should be exposed to it far more than children because we know the difference. Children are just beginning to learn the way things are and by using imagination to expose it to children, we do more backward or mystifying, puzzling, teachings than what we attempt to do, which is to help them to know about life realistically, and to advance in their growing knowledge.
Real vs. fake fears
Generations after generations, it is common for adults to prepare themselves for the time when their child or a child will be in deep physical and emotional distress regarding fictional fears than the true dangers around them. A child may cry about the “monsters under the bed” and not speak about the stalker that follows them. I believe that greater emphasis on proper factual based education for children would assist them to be better aware and better intelligent, informed, beings. "It's a great mistake, I think, to put children off with falsehood and nonsense, when their growing powers of observation and discrimination excite in them a desire to know about things."~ Ann Sullivan
Protecting the "innocence" of children
Children are innocent beings. We build walls around them from “reality” such as from realistic facts as they are to “protect their innocence” yet, a child lives also within our adult world and it is in their best interest that we teach them to adapt to it as it is, or if that is not acceptable than we need to change the things we see as being too horrific for them to be aware of, in order to invite them in. I know that one of the greatest burdens for a protected child is if adults will continue to shelter them from the unknown and forever? That is a horrifying position to be made to endure; this vulnerability and deep dependency on adults is not healthy or natural. We adults know that in life we can only do our best and also we must individually "carry on our own weights" and everyone must know how to shelter themselves, be their own providers, and it would not hurt to start children off with this momentum of self reliance instead of adult protection, sheltering them for we know we will not live forever or be forever able to provide.
Proper factual education is needed for children to learn that when their time comes to take care of themselves, when they reach adulthood, they will be able to do so very well. It is easy to come to this conclusion, that with proper skills and preparation gained, children can and may grow up to be more productive and active in their lives if they are trained to take part in realistic living. They would also be more prepared to deal with living as active beings: they would have learned how we live our lives through proper education of our Industrial System of farming for food and material production, our Capitalist System that directs our lifestyles and culture base on a “money directed living” structure of give and take, exchanges.
Plus, they would know how to take part in our Democratic Representative Government that directs the laws, the rules, that we must live by in order to live in peace with each other within our states and nation. They would know how they can contribute in the political arena by staying properly and factually, realistically, informed to the activities around them such as the problems that comes to be part of their lives and the problems solvers, those who they elect to address these problems. They would know how these systems work, and also how they, themselves, can also be active in making their communities, state, nation, and international community safer and better.
They would know who their decision makers are and how they, themselves, also do have a say in politics. From deciding who will represent them in government when they becoming voters at age 18 to voicing their needs, opinions and wants to their representatives so that they are being truly represented, and not being merely directed as mostly all of us are presently, passively waiting for our representatives to do for us, without us voicing to them our decisions on the matters for we are too busy and to uneducated. Even though we do have the easy technology to act and are not restricted to vote, therefore we also need to assist ourselves to come to grips with "realism" -the way things operate and our positions within these systems.
As an adult, I feel more at ease knowing the little that I do know about the world than when I was in the dark trying to understand it. I believe that if early proper “factual” learning, education, is implemented than a less great deal of: confusion, depression, disillusionment, ill expectations and dramatic high levels of suicide rates can be avoided while emerging into and living as adulthood. “I think I've discovered the secret of life - you just hang around until you get used to it.” -Charles M. Schulz
"In 2006, suicide was ranked as the 11th leading cause of death among persons ages 10 years and older, accounting for 33,289 deaths. National Suicide Statistics at a Glance. Twenty Leading Causes of Death Highlighting Suicide Among Persons Ages 10 Years and Older, United States, 2006." US Department of Health: Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. National Center for Injury and Prevention and Control (NCIPC):
Early Adolescent Years (10-13)
& Late Adolescent Years (13-18)
(The First Step into Adult World: Puberty!)
Puberty is a time where a child's' physical or biological, mental, emotional or spiritual being starts to alter in both boys and girls as they begin to experience altered versions of themselves such as: the growth of body hair, beginning of under arm perspiration, growing taller, possessing facial acne, acquire voice changes, and the ability to produce a child... Although our bodies continue to modify throughout our lifetime, it is during our early adolescent years, and late adult years that such changes are most noticeable. For people in their late adulthood years, grandmas and grandpas, we notice the graying of the hair, the lowing pitch of their voice, and the wrinkling of the skin.
The Causes of Disconnections
between Children and Adults
Even as kids reach adolescence, they need more than ever for us to watch over them. Adolescence is not about letting go. It's about hanging on during a very bumpy ride. --- Ron Taffel
During the periods of puberty, it is where an adult figure may help an emerging confused and stressed "in between childhood and adulthood persons" to better adapt, adjust, to their emerging physical demands. Finding such a connection is most vital for teens, yet it is most difficult between youths and adults. For Children, due to growing up with a deep set of “imaginations” of fictional form of understanding life without the realistic versions of how life truly is, or how we truly live, children emerging into adolescents and adulthood may not be ready to deal with the "reality" of puberty, the changes that happens to their bodies, to take responsibilities of suddenly needing to care for themselves.
Children as adolescents have to change a great deal about how they live, and have to go through constant adjustments of gaining new clothing to fit a taller and muscular or bigger body, incorporating new hygienic routines and materials such as a Tampax, or a Maxi-pad and a razor to maintain a healthy, attractive, and clean body. Physical to social adjustments can lead to a new lifestyle of routines much similar to adults. These routines are more of a must than as visualized chosen act for adults. Since these adjustments are a must therefore, the older a person becomes, the more responsibility and routine maintenance of the body, and lifestyle adjustments is needed to be done, and not based solely (only) on choices alone many teens and young adults comes to realize about adulthood.
Also, due to children being sheltered away or being "protected" from reality or preserving of their " innocence” by living a lifestyle incomparable to adults away from realism, realistic truths, or details about life, reveals a logical conclusion to the fact that children lack the knowledge to understand that they too can become to some extent "just like mom or dad" based on circumstances, as well as due to choices.
If children are growing up naive, it is safe to say that most children do grow a detachment, an alienation from adults. It is easy to view adulthood as more of “morph “than” added features to ones’ current selves. Children find it very difficult to see adults being able to relate to them since we, adults, seem so different in many ways: from our speech, lifestyles, and aims in life as if we live differently in another "world" a different level of living, being, and experiencing life and to some degree that is a reasonable understanding, though it is false.
It is the added responsibilities, and adjusting to the systems of living: Industrialist, Capitalist, and our representative political establishment system that manages how we live, and which assists in transforming us, that we emerge as the adults that we are from our childhood selves.
It is the faults of adults that generations after generations, children and adults find it hard to function peacefully together and to see things “eye to eye”, the same. Since, adults still possess the same childhood bodies once held as a child, it is only a modified version of our childhood selves that we are adults, therefore adults are the ones that possesses the abilities and the powers to connect with the next generations, more so than they to us. We adults, still have the ability to be “childlike’ or more commonly used ‘childish’ and we say it with such negative meaning, a part of us that younger generations can relate to. We all know this, that in this day and age, it is better to become robotic in nature than to be ‘childlike’ or childish in relations to being ourselves-- although most of our systems today operates in a "childish" manner and should focus more on becoming much "mature" in order to function properly to satisfy the "greater good".
Life is not black or white, one way of being and living is not compatible to the complex (various) realities, ways, that is life or that is living. Childishness and maturity both exists and can be used in their proper settings yet we live in a society that demands that childishness be removed completely as much as possible and to formulate robotic sets we call ourselves as "adults" a life and a person that lacks much of the complexities of reality, of life and of a living being.
As a group we allow children to think so idealistically, fictionally, of us adults because we have made ourselves to become such unrealistic and “enhanced” beings based on our social pressures to "make it" or to live decently or in order to maintain a good or less burden lifestyle for ourselves and loved ones. We as adults are capable of being silly, yet our environment promotes us to be more settled. We are capable of being playful, yet we restrict ourselves to be more entertained rather than being entertaining. As adults, we choose our activities wisely base on the amount of time we have to enjoy ourselves and our loved ones. Therefore, we allow ourselves to become a version that even we, as children, would never have thought of ourselves to want to and to become. A person that is deeply stiff, not bendable, or flexible in the ways that we live by possessing as much of a scheduled life to help keep up with the pressures and demands that rests on ourselves and on our time.
Consequently, we also find it hard to relate to children and to make effortless connections with them for we have lost touch of the beauty and life that exists in plain natural living. We find it hard to find fun in almost anything since we are well aware of the assigned functions of most things. We find it hard to see that a table can be seen and be used as a bed for we know the dangers from that scenario. We find it hard to want to, and to engage in playing tag at a grocery store. We find it hard to dance anywhere and everywhere a “hot” song is played. We find it hard to be fascinated by everyday things and we find it easier to accept them as they are assigned to be of use, therefore we lose much of the creative spirits, active creative minds, that children has.
We life within a system that demands more of our time in order to sustain living, to sustain providing necessities for ourselves and children. We live lives by the "clock". We moan occasionally about wanting "a break," a vacation to "let our hairs down"-do we not hear ourselves? And why haven't we aimed for REFORM in order to gain such a lifestyle; a lifestyle that is not too inhumanly (robotic) or too strict, so that we can breathe. To possess a lifelike and "time" that is not so deeply measured and too deeply restricted. More importantly, better time can be spent well paying attention to children to assist them better in their growing needs:
"In March 2009, 39 percent of civilian workers with one year of service with their employer had 10 to 14 days of paid vacation per year. Among employees with 5 years of service, 36 percent received 10 to 14 days of paid vacation, and an additional 36 percent received 15 to 19 days. For employees with 10 years of service, 15 to 19 days was the most common vacation duration: 43 percent of these employees received 15 to 19 days of paid vacation annually. Among employees with 20 years of service, 38 percent received 20 to 24 paid vacation days a year. These data are from the Employee Benefits Survey program. Paid vacation days do not include paid holidays and paid sick leave."Paid vacation benefits, March 2009. US Department of Labor, Bureau of Labor Statistics: http://www.bls.gov/opub/ted/2009/ted_20090925.htm
It is apparent that we adults live a life more ignorantly and in neglect of our political and economical powers which determines and directs more for us than we do ourselves. For a closer relationship with children, we need to gain courage, intelligence, and movement to grasp a hold of ourselves, and a hold over our lives in order to reach out to the youths- by first claiming those neglected political and economical powers (…more will be discussed about ourselves and our “real world” mentalities regarding our adult lives and lifestyles of social constructed ways in the “actual world” section regarding these issues and a need, plus a path towards reform).
Entering the "real world"- Young Adults (17-24)
It is during young adulthood that previous proper education and training becomes most vitally important. Most of the things young adults had been learned about themselves and their environments from childhood through to their adolescent years and thereafter will assists them in either making a smooth transition into adulthood or to face cruel awakenings by “reality” or by "the real world" which is life and living in its actual factual state. It is life as it is, and not as they believe it to be. At that age, most young adults are on their way to walk in the ceremonial gatherings with their peers to accept their high school diplomas, to get out of high school to head for college or to pursue their dreams elsewhere. They have become old enough to leave their parents’ house to live on their own.
It seems deeply obvious that children or young adults may wait to face "cruel awakenings" rather than them making smooth transitions to adulthood by possessing an understanding about life and living as it is than as they perceive it to be. Transitioning to adulthood is the state of it being “the real world” where a person comes face to face with reality, the "hidden" knowledge about living, and its demands or responsibilities. Young Adults emerge out of parental “protection” or guardianship (management or supervision) and into a phase of gaining “self reliance” also known as “Independence”.
Independence is the goal of parenting children to emerge well into their adulthood as mature and independent adults. As youths are taking their place to aim to become self-reliant, adults are much "older" and may need to switch roles to be cared for. It is a time in which "new" adults may see that they need to take care of their own basic "needs" to find affordable place to buy or to rent, finding an affordable car to own, finding quality foods to eat and most importantly, finding a good enough job or career to support those needs. They must claim an occupation, a dream job, or a career into the workforce as parents are near to or have already left their work for retirement and also might be heading to leave their own homes or relocation such as at a desired state like Florida or even to a nursing facility or an assisted living facility for proper professional care if that be the case of need.
My message to Children & to Young Adult Readers About "the Real World"
There is truly 100% certainty, no such thing as a "real world". You are living in the "real" life now along with adults all within one place, one reality, and one planet, the planet Earth. To become an adult, you have to keep learning in school, at the libraries, and at home about God, about the earth, about yourselves, and about others. To be an adult does require time, or age, but intelligence (knowledge) is also a great part which at any age a person can get.
Knowledge will help you to be an adult. You have what you need to be an adult. You do not have to look forward to, or try to be someone else. You will with time and knowledge be a "grown up" like your parents, and it will not be through a “transformation” but through a “growing” or through "added features" within the body that you already have. Enjoy yourselves as you are. Plus, once you become an adult, you cannot go back to being a child again or being a young adult again. You are fine just as you are, and soon even though it seems like time takes forever, you will be a grown up.
My Message to Parents & Adults
It is most obvious that we live in a strict and stressful lifestyle and time with children – is greatly limited. Why not move into the "actual world" where you do have a say in how our live gets managed? We live in a 24hr daily cycle and right now, time is mostly spent in two concentrated areas for adults, sleep and work.
American Time Use Survey -- 2009 about Adults
Working (by Employed Persons) in 2009 Household Activities in 2009 Leisure Activities in 2009 Childcare…View the Report findings regarding the amount of time spent on these activities: US Department of Labor, Bureau of Labor Statistics: http://www.bls.gov/news.release/atus.nr0.htm
Time Survey of Young People
The American Time Use Survey collects information about the activities people do during the day and how much time they spend doing them. For example, on an average day in 2009, Americans age 15 and over revealed were active doing:
Based on research, time is gravely limited for parents. Although parents are their children's primary teachers, it is difficult to spend much needed time to train them and that is why so many parents rely gravely on the education system and television to do that job for them. Parents have to take care of themselves properly by sleeping the healthy 8 hours a day, work the needed 8 hours a day, then parents need to perform the juggling acts for the rest of the 8 hours to raise children and complete needed tasks as well as to establish some time for their own selves. In contrast, for children, time is spent mostly sleeping, being at school, and doing leisure activities. Because the education system teaches children about life primarily through books, learning how life is in the "real world" is limited or restricted and must come from their interactions and learning from their parents about "how it is."
Parents and adults have the information that children do not have about life which can be taught by the revelations of their life experiences (their personal life stories) or biographies. A parent can assist their children to gain a better understanding about money, relationships, their philosophies [ideas about life], and future plans by granting their children access into their lives such as by showing and allowing a child to learn how to balance money, how to pay things on time, or the proper use of a credit card and the proper ways to shop.
As the old saying goes from how grandparents love to repeat, "I remember when I was your age...." Adults can try to remember themselves when they were younger to try to aid the next generation.
Then, find simple and honest (non-fictional) ways to teach them about life, including appropriate subjects to empower them. Help them to become adults, independent. Each stage in their lives when they are able to do things, allow them. The more a person knows and the more a person can do "are active" in their own lives, the better it will be for them to be able to transition into their "independent lives" also known as" the real world." Part of young peoples' success to transition into adulthood relies on their parents' or adults' experiences. Do not keep things to yourselves and keep children in the dark: they will not learn that way, they will not know what to expect, and they will have a hard time succeeding.
- I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. -George Carlin
We must stop the continuous cycle of allowing children to live under a false umbrella of an imaginative pretense view of life. They need to learn actual lessons regarding life from us such as: how to get along with each other, how NOT to bully anyone, how to be nice, how to share, how to be respectful, how to protect themselves, how to cook and clean so that they are prepared for the future.
- Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it. – Proverbs 22:6
- Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid. –Proverbs 12:1
- Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die. Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death-Proverbs 23:13-14
Also, possessing an umbrella for children over how we truly live our lives does display our dislike over how we live. If we are afraid to allow children in on how we are living, but want to “spoil” or shelter them from how we live where "time is money" and "money comes first" in sustaining life and for the essential needs for living such as for our food, our home…we need to reform our systems to better standards of excellence and where human lives and dignity is cherished and a better system where people comes first ahead of money in areas where it matters and a system we can be proud to help children to learn how they will operate in it when they are older.
- A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest-and poverty will come on you like a bandit and scarcity like an armed man. – Proverbs 6:10-11
- Lazy hands make a man poor, but diligent hands bring wealth. –proverbs 10:4
- He who loves pleasure will become poor; whoever loves wine and oil will never be rich.-Proverbs 21:17
Living in its' present state is hard. It has its rewards, and it can be satisfactory, however, we can do better from infancy throughout our lives. We can improve on so many things. Let us leave the "real world" and come to live in the "actual world" where we can see what is assisting or directing us to live such routine lifestyles generations after generations that is difficult to change. We know that there is never going to be 100% balance between the: wealthy, rich, average, and the poor, but there can however be a level of decency for “all” to live, to enjoy, and to rule (direct our lives) in this modern era.
- "People who demand neutrality in any situation are usually not neutral but in favor of the status quo." Max Eastman
Also, not only for us adult, we can also break the cycle of intolerance [prejudice, bullying] and social tragedies that exists between children in our schools. We all know that schools possesses sections of groups: the popular, the nerds, the rich, the poor, the average, the……and even if such labels remain, we can promote tolerance by teaching children how to love which in simple terms is, treating others how one would like to be treated.
- The highway of the upright avoids evil; he who guards his way guards his life. Pride goes before destruction, a haughty [snooty, proud, arrogant] spirit before a fall. –Proverbs 16:17-18
- A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit. –Proverbs 15:13
- A kind man benefits himself, but a cruel man brings trouble on himself. –Proverbs 11:17
- When the righteous prosper, the city rejoices; when the wicked perish, there are shouts of joy.- Proverbs 11:10